Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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