If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
