im having a threesome with these popsicles
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize