Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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