it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
