I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize