..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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