so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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