i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
