Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
