So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Floor bacon is actually really good
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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