carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize