remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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