don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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