I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Send help, water and tortillas.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
