maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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