Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
