??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
