instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
