I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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