Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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