You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
