STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
