why didn't you poke me back
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
