You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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