Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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