I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
