It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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