Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
