Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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