Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm going to jail i love you
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
