So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
