her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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