i think my mom watched the whole time
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
