I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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