Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Hippo gnu deer
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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