Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize