now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
