Whod you bang
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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