just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
