So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
