dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He has the fingertips of a God
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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