You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
