he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
