oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We just shotgunned beers for America
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
