who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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