problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
