You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize