I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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