ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
