we have officially lost it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
