Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
