He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
