I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
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