her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
