Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize