I think I died a long time ago.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize