how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
