suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
