My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
apparently the secret to your success is patron
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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