She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
