..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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