Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
