ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
