Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
