there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My pussy is not your playground.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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