If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Oh god it's open bar.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
