i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
