How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
