thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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