I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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