i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Soap is not a condiment
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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